Tips to help you move on from a Break-Up

Breakups can be classed as one of the worst feelings that one can go through. Whilst some may not have traumatizing experiences related to this, others may struggle to move on way more than they would have expected. Despite splitting from your partner feeling like the end of the world, it is possible to continue with your life.

Below I have listed the stages that one usually goes through after a separation and some tips concerning how you could react to it in a healthy manner.

Stage 1: Firstly, as horrible as it is, you have to accept your partner’s (or own decision) and realize the situation you are in.  

Stage 2: Of course, it’s not as simple as that. You may still remain hopeful after the official split thinking that you two may resume your relationship after a break. That is a possibility, however, be honest with yourself: is there a way of fixing it or is it the end that you are unable to accept?

If your ex-partner voiced his or her wishes clearly regarding ending your relationship then do try to respect that.

There is no point of begging them to pursue the relationship when it was their decision to end it in the first place. Heartbreaks are horrible and once it ends you might find yourself about to fall onto your knees and desperately ask them not to leave. It’s very difficult to think objectively at these moments, but you should ask yourself: Why should I beg for someone’s affection that refuses mine and disregards my emotions?

As old-school as it sounds, try to preserve your dignity and find someone who appreciates you for who you are as opposed to running after a bus that has already left.

Stage 3: In order to prevent temptation, perhaps shutting them out of your life could be the best solution.

By finding yourself obsessively scrolling through their social media and checking their location, trying to figure out what they are up to, you are only hurting yourself.

In fact, maybe disconnecting from the Internet yourself could help you obtain a sense of freedom. Instead of constantly looking at notifications and waiting for them to write, you could catch up with friends and family.

This will not only keep your mind off things but will allow you to reconnect with others.

Stage 4: By removing social media from your life you could also experience a phase of self-discovery.

By becoming single you will find that you have lots of free time on your hands. Instead of viewing this from a pessimistic perspective, you should see it as an opportunity to try new things.

And by “new things” I’m not referring to crazy nights out in the city, but doing things that you always wanted to, but didn’t have the time or the person who would be interested in it.

You may not consider yourself as an artistic and creative person, but perhaps this is the perfect time for you to dive into something completely new. Maybe you could sign up for an art class or search for events relating to this on Facebook.

This idea may feel very strange and unlike you, however, if the idea fascinates you then you should give it a go. No one will judge you and you might even enjoy this new experience more than you thought you would.

And in case you don’t like it, there are always plenty of other activities waiting for you. Be that sports, music festivals, concerts, or learning to play on an instrument.  

Stage 5: Do remember that time is the best medicine. You probably cannot move on from someone within a few days and that’s normal.

However, this does mean that your upcoming weeks or months may be an emotional rollercoaster. There will be days when you are fine, thinking you are ready to go back out there, and days when you find your situation tragically hopeless. Believe it or not, it will pass!

Stage 6: After some time you may feel like you have previously overreacted. That is semi-true. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad and desperate at those moments. What matters is that you have progressed and realized that it doesn’t last forever.

This might also be good timing to re-evaluate the break-up and its causes if you are unsure. Do you blame yourself? Were you overprotective and jealous or was it miscommunication?

Firstly, you shouldn’t blame yourself as, despite the outcome, you probably didn’t have bad intentions. Remember, “it takes two to tango.”

Nevertheless, this does not mean that all your decisions were great. If you are aware that you have a certain quality that repeatedly interferes with your love-life (and both you and others have signaled its unhealthy nature) then maybe it’s time to change it.

Another aspect that is important within relationships but not many admit is where the two people are in life. If you two have a fairly large age difference then being a fresher graduate may not match with your partner’s long-term job (which could be on the opposite end of the spectrum, embodying the notion that work life balance is a myth).

Stage 7: You should find peace with yourself.

You probably have heard either from friends or in films that you cannot love someone else until you don’t love yourself. Initially, you may be skeptical about this, but it does make sense. By lacking confidence you or your partner (or both of you) may be bringing in unnecessary sources of insecurities that may cause cracks in your relationship.

Make sure that you know who you are and what you want. And if the other person cannot accept that, well, maybe they are not the person you are looking for.

Stage 8: Get back out there.

It’s important that you don’t immediately rush into anything after the break-up. You may find yourself alone and loveless, desperately trying to find a new partner just because you hate the idea of your ex moving on.

It’s crucial that you don’t give in to this temptation as a forced relationship may only cause you to end up in a more stressful situation.

However, once you feel like you think less about your ex and you catch yourself looking at others on the street then it may be your time to give dating another go.

You could try something new and download a dating app or two or simply wait for someone to come along at the right moment.